Postpartum Survival Tools
that are not about the baby:
New parents live in a sales funnel. They are constantly being told that they need this miracle product to survive everything. And new parents are usually so sleep deprived, alone, and desperate that they will cling to a miracle product as a lifeline, usually until they give up feeling defeated. Some products might work for some people, but they definitely don’t work for everyone! Postpartum survival is really about finding what rhythms work for your family. Sometimes it might be about finding out if your baby likes a swing or a bouncer, or that they prefer one swaddle over another. But overall finding your rhythm is not about buying more products. Here is my list of postpartum survival tools.
Before you start with this list, take a moment to close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Think about what brings you joy. Is it a warm cup of tea, or a piece of chocolate? Is it snuggling your dog, or giving yourself a foot massage (or having someone massage them for you)? Make a list of 3 things. In your moments of feeling overwhelmed or defeated, simply stop, go back and look at this list. Then take some time to bring yourself some joy! Once you are feeling more peaceful things will be easier to deal with.
Support. Parenting wasn’t designed to be done alone. Parents need some help, and it’s okay to ask for and accept help. I think this is one of the hardest lessons to accept, because it goes against what society shows and more importantly, what we expect of ourselves. So say yes to someone watching your other children for a little while! Say yes to friends and family bringing you dinner. (Bonus tip, did you know they make apps now for your village to coordinate this on their own, you just have to set it up, sit back and get food delivered!). And hire a doula! The beautiful thing with that kind of support is that it doesn’t replace help from everyone else, it only amplifies the support and care you get throughout your postpartum journey.
Rest. I am not saying, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” That’s rarely realistic. But we live in a time of parents having their babies and going back to their normal routines right away. Not taking the time to rest can lead to even more severe sleep deprivation, and to feeling defeated. Instead of expecting things to be normal right away, be prepared to take some time to just be quiet. Sleep late if your baby lets you, or take turns with your partner to sleep in. Sit and be still. Set yourself up with what you need around you, or have someone bring you what you need so you can focus on being still and healing. Your body has been growing this baby and changing in so many ways for the past 9 months, it is going to take time for it to heal.
Proper hydration and nutrition. Don’t forget to eat and drink! You’d be amazed at how easy it is to forget about yourself when you’re so focused on this new little human! Try to think ahead and prepare easy to grab food, and a water bottle (the kind with a straw really helps) to keep next to you, so you can stay ahead of the depletion. This is a wonderful thing for partners to help with. Instead of asking, “What can I do to help?,” or “what do you need?,” (which can be such an overwhelming question at times) they can just bring you some water and a plate of your favorite snack!
Nipple balm, and perineum care. Take care of yourself! Use what you can to help your body heal. Perineum balms, nipple balms, heating pads, breast warmers, sitz bath, a peri bottle, and a really good nursing pillow. All of these things are a huge help in the healing process.
Kindness and Forgiveness. You won’t get everything right, and you might not (probably won’t) enjoy every minute. All of that is okay. Give yourself grace. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. Give yourself the comfort of knowing that you are doing wonderful things, and you are not alone!
Surviving postpartum, and better yet thriving during your postpartum, is about so much more than the constant drive for needing new products. Starting with this solid foundation will make all the difference. Treat yourself to some splurges if that’s what brings you joy, but don’t believe you need every miracle product on the market in order to get through this challenging phase!
I’m sending you peace, joy, and love as you prepare to welcome your beautiful little one.
Please send me a note, send me a text, or give me a call if you have any questions or are interested.
